I have done a lot of things in my 49 years and hope to do a lot more over the next 50 or so more years. I am kinda what is called the “jack of all trades and a master of none”. At one time in my life, I saw this title to be a black smudge on the white pages of my life. That was until I learned how BLESSED I have been to have been able to experience so much in my life in such a short time. You see, the majority of the population will take a job and keep this same job for the bulk of their life. Me on the other hand, have changed my focus approximately every 2-5 years. My friends and family think I have ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, but I like to think of it as Adventure Designed Desires instead of attention deficit. This fact leads me to where I am now, sitting here writing the first thing that comes to mind and hoping someone finds hope and courage from my words. As a Licensed Professional Counselor by trade, I work from a holistic model of therapy. I look at myself more as a life guide that helps others get a new perspective on their lives using mind, body, and Spirit techniques so they can move forward with new tools to design their life. I have a strong desire to help guide you to be the best you can be by helping you reveal what you have been holding onto; all the while untethering myself from my daily ritual of desk work, to opening up my soul and releasing what has been stored up since my childhood.
As a child, I had an overactive imagination (some might say I still do). I was a rockstar, an acrobat, a world famous roller skater and a Jedi knight, no Princess Leia for me. No one could tell me what I was because I would change who I was when I wanted. I really can’t think of one time in my preteens that I thought about who I was or who I should be. I was just what felt right at the moment. Yes, I had fears, and yes, I was disappointed often. But I did not let any of those things define or deter me. I climbed trees to the top, rode bikes down big hills, and played football with the big boys, and a few little ones too! I had my own mind that told me if I can think it, I can do it. I was the epitome of the phrase, “she thought she could so she did”. Now understand, this whole memory thing is completely from my youthful perspective. Science would probably dispute the accuracy of my memories since research supposedly shows that 50% of our childhood memories are false. I like my version better and I am sticking to it!
Then came the teens…….oh boy. My body started changing and so did other people’s expectations of me. There were rules and ways of acting for “young ladies”. There was my parents’ divorce and my role changes. Then one of my parents went to prison and my social status that was already low got even lower. So there I was, a gaucky, young teenager with 2 younger siblings to help raise and an alcoholic father. WOW!! Talk about a dose of reality check!! Yeah baby!!!! I got it. I was no longer what my hopes and dreams told me I was. I became what was expected of me; what society deemed as what was “right”. But I can’t blame society completely. The rebel still lived in me. I was determined to see myself and my siblings as equal to anyone who existed. No pity party for me! Well maybe a small one but since I did not have many friends, it didn’t last long. I set my intent on becoming more than my social status. Now the funny part of all of this is that I did not even know I had set my intent on that fact. I just knew that I did not like getting looked upon as less than and sure did not accept that as definition of who I was. So I worked and I made connections that came with successes; as I considered success to be at that time. I achieved a semblance of an elevated social status. Now understand my economic status and life circumstances did not change. I changed. I did not allow my current situation and circumstances to dictate to me what I was going to be or how I was going to be seen. I will go into the details of all of these things and more over the future of these blogs. By God’s grace and a WHOLE LOT of mercy, I overcame my destiny that others saw for me. THANK GOD for an overactive imagination!! I still believe today that God made me for something bigger. Bigger than my social status. Bigger than my economic status. Bigger than what others see for me. I want to be what my dogs believe me to be, QUEEN!!!! When I am at home, there is no one else to them. They make every step I make and they defend me like the hounds of hell, even though one of them is only 5 pounds.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read the entirety for this blog. It is my intent to continue to share parts of myself and my life, now and over the years, to help encourage you and support you in your times of need. I hope to invoke joy, sadness, and inspiration within your soul. I will be sharing numerous stories and suggest several activities and tools that can help contribute to the best you possible. As a Christian, I hope to share the light that has been placed within me without dimming your beliefs and character. I do not intend to use this blog as a social platform to try to persuade anyone to my way of thinking. It is solely an expression of my soul as I heal and hope to help others heal. I would love to hear your responses, and please be considerate of others’ opinions and remarks. This blog is intended to lift up the positive energy in this world without creating more darkness. If you are offended by the words written in this blog, please feel free to discontinue to read them. I am who I am without anyone trying to tell me or that my views are wrong. If you find something that I have said to be untrue, please feel free to keep it to yourself and move on……Just kidding! Please feel free to correct me and I will be happy to either agree or prove my point. Thanks again for your time and please leave a comment below!!
I really do understand grammar, or at least most of it. The title is a shout out to someone who did not accept me for who I was and how I saw myself. Thank you for that moment of clarity even though I did not see it with my human self at the time. My soul got the message. More on this later, tee hee……