Success of Failure

Pull up a chair. Have a seat. Let’s chat a little bit.

Here we are almost halfway through the first month of the New Year! How are those resolutions going? There have been many studies showing why you should or should not make a resolution. I am not here to talk about that. What I want to talk about is how your narrative changes when those resolutions don’t go exactly as you plan. Or when a goal doesn’t happen as you thought it would. Then all of a sudden you are labeling yourself as a failure.

Yet I am here to tell you you are a success because of your failure.

Are you still there?

Or are you closing your laptop, choosing a different window to open, walking away thinking how in the world can you find success in failure. Come back, let’s chat some more. Bear with me as we begin down this road of reframing what failure is.

Failure is inevitable. Whether it be deviating from a resolution or striving towards a goal and falling short. Winston Churchill said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” Now let’s be honest, what happens when feel like you failed something or someone. Do you ultimately get right back up, cheerfully, and enthusiastically? Odds are no! You allow that perceived failure to begin to shape your narrative. The message you tell yourself about where you belong and your worth. STOP IT!

Failure allows you to see how strong you are. The work and dedication you put into something to get to the point you are at, even if it isn’t the point you want to be at. You still had to do something to get there. Use the strength and courage it took for you to start to rewrite your journey.

There is no doubt that failure doesn’t feel good. It is raw and often painful. It makes you begin to question the steps you took to get to said point. Use this questioning, this curiosity, to move you forward. You have what you need to keep going!

My hope as you read this is that you do not allow any set backs or re-routes of the plan affect your narrative. You own your narrative. You own your messages of self-worth! You can write your own story and trust me, you have the power to do it! Failure isn’t the end point. It simply isn’t. It is the point in the road that you pause and regroup. You find the backroad that wasn’t clearly marked on the map. You get out of the car and begin to walk instead of drive. Or better yet you RUN! Repeat after me, “Failure is not the end point.”

Click here to see my blog Success of Failure

Rebecca Clinton Licensed Clinical Social Worker working with variety of populations from individuals, couples, children, and adolescents. She will strive to ensure her approaches are tailored to meet your therapeutic needs. She believes change happens when you are given the guidance you need to draw on your own strengths and realize your potential to live fulfilling happy lives. Call 1-210-714-1346  or email rebeccaclinton@itherapymail.com   to set up a free 15-minute consultation. Visit Rebecca Clinton’s Profile.

Embracing Chaos

As I sit here about to launch into this adventure with you I go back to my motto of “Embrace the chaos.” I know you are probably thinking “If you only knew what kind of chaos I am facing you would tell me to run”. Dear friend, running doesn’t change the chaos. Running doesn’t allow you the growth you deserve. Running doesn’t allow you the peace you seek. Besides, running leaves you out of breath.

How do you embrace chaos? 

Isn’t chaos something you don’t want? Well, yes, I would hope you don’t seek out chaos but the truth of the matter is life is in constant motion. Motion is never linear no smooth. I imagine there is a scientist out there that may prove this very non scientific theory of mine wrong but we aren’t talking about theories here. We are talking about life. And life…. well… life gets bumpy.

Chaos is inevitable. The intensity of chaos is variable. There are so many things that happen to you that are out of your control. As a military wife, I feel like this is no truer statement! What you can control is your reaction to the moments of tension and chaos.

The Spring/Summer of 2018 was chaos for me. Pure chaos. Let me set the scene for you…. you may want to go pop some popcorn this is pretty entertaining! My husband was deployed and we have 2 little ones (well one child in elementary school and a toddler). In addition to our darling two legged children, at the time, we had a 3 legged child (my husband’s retired military working dog), a 4 legged 6 month old puppy, and 2 guinea pigs. Deployments are never easy but you get through them. In the middle of said deployment dear husband drops the “Hey we are PCSing” bomb on me. Wait…. hold the phone… we can’t PCS (for non military folks here that is military jargon for moving) you aren’t here! But alas, we were. So my “normal” deployment turned into a deployment that now consisted of me selling our home and beginning to search for another one in a state/area I had no clue about, all while running the every day moments of the household. It was pure chaos.

How did I survive?

I leaned into it. I knew I couldn’t change the situation. I couldn’t rewrite the orders (I would have it I could have!). I also leaned into friends, family, and neighbors. Did I have my moments…. YES! Just ask my husband. But I had to recognize what I could control and what I couldn’t or I would have sat there in the middle of my living room floor paralyzed with anger, frustration, anxiety, and thoughts of what next.

My hope for you is that you are not facing pure chaos and that you are surrounded by those who are able to sit with you and say “it’s ok to not be ok.” However, if you are sitting there feeling alone and paralyzed with fear, with anxiety, with frustration, with thoughts of how did I get here, I would be honored to sit with you and tell you “it’s ok to not be ok.” Life isn’t meant to be overwhelming. Let’s work together to find your peace in the middle of a chaotic storm.

Click here to see my blog Embracing Chaos

Rebecca Clinton Licensed Clinical Social Worker working with variety of populations from individuals, couples, children, and adolescents. She will strive to ensure her approaches are tailored to meet your therapeutic needs. She believes change happens when you are given the guidance you need to draw on your own strengths and realize your potential to live fulfilling happy lives. Call 1-210-714-1346  or email rebeccaclinton@itherapymail.com   to set up a free 15-minute consultation. Visit Rebecca Clinton’s Profile.